Living Away From Home

Residential life in the initial stages is a huge step for children and their parents.  Our residents will be required to live within boundaries on a daily basis that they may have not had to do before; live with people they might not necessarily associate with and accept instructions from people other than their parents.  Residents need to adapt to a structured regime which requires them to be at pre-determined places at specified times, to do their homework and to go to bed according to our timetable.

You, as parents, can assist your children (and us) in making the transition easier if they are already familiar with a few specific life skills.  They need to be able to make their bed, tidy up after themselves, look after their own personal hygiene, be able to use a diary, organise their study and structure their leisure time.  The nature of residential life requires that students are compliant and considerate; a positive attitude and a willingness to 'give it a go' should ensure that residents get the most out of the ISB residential experience.  Students who take pride in themselves and their environment will find the transition easier.

Hygiene is essential.  This applies to both personal and clothing hygiene.  ISB provides sufficient laundry facilities to service all the students who are in Residence, but the students themselves must take responsibility for their personal hygiene and for putting their dirty washing into the basket, and place the basket outside the door of their bedroom when they would like their clothes to be washed.

When living with 40 other children, personal privacy is extremely important.  Residents should treat others the way in which they would like to be treated.  This entails not entering other residents' personal areas without permission; they should not touch, take or use the possessions of others without their express permission.

These demands are easier for some children to come to terms with than others, but residents all develop tolerance, resilience, a sense of justice, self discipline, independence and as well realise the value of interdependence in varying degrees during their time in Residence.

Interpersonal problems will arise from time to time.  It is important for residents to share these earlier rather than later.  It is far easier to deal with issues when they are small concerns; so early information is valuable information.  Parents are encouraged to develop open and honest communication with the school and residential staff, so that each individual resident gets the most out of their time at ISB.

We work on the assumption that children come to the International School Brunei so that they can obtain a better education and we support this in any way we can.  "We aim to treat your children the way in which we would like our own children to be treated by others."

Homesickness

It is normal for children to feel homesick at times.  We recognize and understand these feelings and we (as a team) work together to get your children through these difficult periods.  It is important that they know that it is quite normal to feel homesick and is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.

It is our experience that children will often ring home when they are feeling their lowest, and the worst features of boarding school may be exaggerated in an effort to convince parents of their miserable state.  Please encourage your child to limit their phone calls in the initial 'settling in' stages, and often, telephoning in the morning is better than the evening, when they are tired.  We have noticed that a child who appears to be happy and coping well, will sometimes suffer a setback after ringing home, or a child who will be quite upset on the phone will appear happy and unconcerned as soon as they hang up.

Homesickness can present itself as other symptoms like headaches, stomach aches, or just generally 'feeling sick'.  If your child is complaining that they are unwell, please advise them to make contact with the residence nurse or residence staff. Quite often a chat, some placebo medication and distraction will mend these bouts of illness in the early weeks of life away from home.

There really is no cure for homesickness (because even going home often replaces homesickness with feelings of guilt, embarrassment and stress of deadlines for schoolwork).  The best advice we can give you is to listen your child, be patient, and distract them without making them feel that what they are saying/feeling is unimportant.  Distraction really is the best 'fix' for homesickness - a busy mind and body does not have time to reflect on what they miss.  Residents who involve themselves in the various activities on offer, both in and outside the classroom, generally settle into residential life more readily.  Please encourage your children to avail themselves of the many opportunities we offer.

In the initial stages poor grades or difficulty with high learning expectations may also contribute to homesickness.  Sometimes, it is simply a different method of teaching, higher expectations or a more structured timetable than they are use to.  Please explain to your children that they need to seek assistance, before small problems become large problems.

All residents adjust to residential life in their own way.  A child who settles early can often suffer from homesickness once the initial excitement of boarding school wears off.  In the first few weeks it is best that you let your child experience the normal routine of boarding life.  We suggest you allow them to settle in to these routines, to make new friends and experience the 'whole' residential life experience over the first few weeks.  Please make contact with the Head of Residence if your child is experiencing homesickness, we can offer support and advice to both you and your child.